I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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