do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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