Nicole vs. Life
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just high enough for therapy.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
