And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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