I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
