I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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