Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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