is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
