If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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