Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
