Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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