i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
