She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
