If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
