Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
