I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
