My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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