So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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