Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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