Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
