I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
