I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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