another moral hangover. fuck.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
