Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
