At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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