FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
