doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
