i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
