I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
