I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
