I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
