please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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