his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
