time to smoke my breakfast
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
