I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
