i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
