we're making bets on your personal life
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
