The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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