just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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