Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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