Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
