If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
