So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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