It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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