Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
