I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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