Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
