Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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