ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
