he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize