The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
did i just pee glitter
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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