Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
