Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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