he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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