I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
