Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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