so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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