worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
