are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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