he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
