This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
