I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
