I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Randomize
