Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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