i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
