I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
