tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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